Tunnel Rat 4: A LitRPG Adventure by Walrus King

Author:Walrus King [King, Walrus]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AETHON
Published: 2026-02-25T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 31

Unhinged

Sitting back and waiting on the other two humans to recharge with caffeine, Milo considered the situation. They had someone who could help. Someone as smart as Wally? So they had said.

“Interesting. You have another AI. One that can do things Wally can’t. That means you have created a new AI, which violates several international laws, and I’m sure conflicts with part of Wally’s kernel.”

Sydney heard Milo say this as she started to sit down. She yelled, “No!” and nearly spilled both coffees. Steven took one from her. “Not quite, but a good guess.”

“Not a guess. You said he was as smart as Wally. There is a massive gap between the intelligence of Wally and anyone else on earth that isn’t an AI. Plus, Sydney wouldn’t be nearly so nervous about my statement if it weren’t an AI. When do I get to meet Ralph?”

The screen he was using to talk with Steven and Sydney underwent a change. Two hands appeared at the edge, dragging their screens to the left and making them smaller. Ralph took up the rest of the image. He looked a little like Wally. But while Wally dressed conservatively, Ralph wore a suit that went out of style in the 1920s. Its white and black checkered pattern added to the vintage look. His blond hair was swooped back over his head like a 1950s rock star. Milo had seen one recorded performance of Elvis Presley, and Ralph’s hairdo would have gotten the King’s approval. Gold-rimmed, round glasses with a pink tint completed his outfit. He huffed and puffed with the effort of moving the screen, then fell backward into a padded swivel chair, put his boots up on his desk, and looked at Milo.

“Hiya, kid. I’m Ralph. The man, the myth, the legend you’ve never heard of, and no one will believe you if you drop my name. We’re on a timer, kid. I got one hour to live, and we have a lot of ground to cover, so start with the questions, and I’ll confuse you with the answers.”

Milo’s mind was blank for a good five seconds. “Who are you? What are you?”

Ralph changed into a giant rooster. “I say, the boy must be a bit slow. Moving at snail speed. You can laugh now. That was a joke, son.” He melted back to his original form but was now wearing a football helmet. “I guess we’ll have to drop back and punt the hard ones and try to gain some yardage with easier questions.”

“You know who I am: I’m Ralph. I’m unhinged and doppelly-do. At your service for 59:43, and then you can attend my funeral. No need to bring flowers, just throw cash to my resurrection fund. Could you give me all the background, Sydney-girl? I’ll be up to speed while our little question-asker figures out his next query.”

Milo looked at Steven, who was amused and watching the show. Sydney was nervous but complied, sending Ralph files and typing in things Milo had just told them.

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